helping hands

A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. (Proverbs 15:17)

there's nothing quite like the restorative powers of spending time with someone you love. today, my mom came over and we had some 'girl' time, which was so nice. taking time to enjoying being together and to talk about the things that are weighing on us. sharing our burdens and tossing them into the proverbial abyss.

there is an underlying cultural standard of perfection that reaches its slippery claws into our lives. i feel that i need to do it all, right, by myself, the first time. but that's not that case. life is a process, it's the ebb and flow of light and dark, of plenty and want. you can't do it alone, and that's not what god wants. he wants us to lean on each other, and lean on him.

this is something that i struggle with. i want to do it alone, but when i try, the mountains seem taller, the winds harsher, the climb steeper. i need to listen to the lord and allow him and those that love me to help me shlep up the mountain. for when i do, i can reach the summit and conquer life's trials.

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planned out

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

at this point in the easter season, it's a waiting game. waiting to see what's next in the grand scheme. like i said yesterday, if i were there, back in the day, i would be having some serious doubts. i would be feeling like all the plans that christ had made would never come to fruition. i would like to think that i would stay the course but i know myself and i would be having a serious faith crisis.

i think that lots of times when we are in the middle of god's plan, it feels like our plans are falling apart. 

when i was just entering into my twenties, i fell in love. love-song love. we began to make plans. i put all my hopes and dreams into those plans and it made my heart light and happy to think of our future. but those plans never materialized, and when it all fell to pieces, so did big parts of me. it was incredibly difficult to face the realization that these plans that i had made weren't the ones that god had in store. i was heartbroken and found it difficult to focus on the truth that god had something else waiting. something lovelier than i was planning. time marches on and here i sit on the other side of that part of the plan and i am thankful that his plans gave me a future and a hope. i'm thankful that he helped me pick myself up, dust myself off and focus on his plan for me.

i'm in the middle of a plan-shift right now, at the fork in the road where my plan and god's plan veer away from one another. it's painful and frustrating, but i need to re-adjust my focus, and remind myself that what awaits is better than what i could think up on my own.

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a promise is a promise

Yes, I am confirming my covenant with you. Never again will a flood destroy the earth. (Gen.9:11)

good friday is a day all about promise. it's looking the worst case scenario in the eye and knowing that there has been a promise made. it's about faith and love and hope in the midst of struggle and violence.

good friday makes me think of the people in christ's day that bought into his story; his followers, disciples, his family. i think if i was one of those people and saw him being brutalized i would feel like the promises that were made were for naught. but the great thing about this story is that just when you think that you are at the end, there's another chapter. there's hope.

god has promised me that he will have my back. now the ball's in my court and i need to trust him.

the thing about trust, as a mere mortal, is that our experiences with it leave a little something to be desired, as we learn about trust with other flawed people. god's different, but sometimes it's hard to wrap my head around the notion that he's not going to exploit me or disappoint me, in fact, he's got something great in store for me, i just can't see what it is yet.

when i am feeling a little lacking in the trust department, i start to remind myself of all the promises that god has kept to me. i think of my safety in precarious situations and the love that fills my home from my husband and son. i think of things that i have experienced that were big spiritual awakenings, and how those things almost never happened in a church. i think of the beauty and intricacies of life that hold us all together. and then i relax, every so slightly. god's got my back.

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race day

And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

i've never been a good runner. i've tried, i've taken classes, run races and yes, even taught a running class. but my body isn't wired for that, it takes serious effort to get me to lace up my shoes and hit the pavement.

i see faith a bit like running, it takes huge effort, and sometimes you are going to want to quit. it takes discipline to force body and mind to keep putting one foot in front of another, to keep focusing on what is good and right and pure. sometimes all i want to do is stop and sit on a bench - but that doesn't assist in reaching my goals. i like this verse because god is saying, hey, faith isn't easy, it's a marathon, but don't get distracted and forget the finish line.

as much as i struggle at running, there is always that moment when your legs kick in and your body feels like a well oiled machine. if every time i went for a run this happened immediately, i would run everyday. but the truth of the matter is that it takes time for that to happen. the body needs to be trained and warmed up for that wonderful sensation of effortlessness. faith is the same. training our minds and hearts to focus on the lord isn't our (my) default mode. it takes training and practice. but once we hit our stride, it is so worth it.

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life lessons

Remember how the LORD your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands.  Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.  For all these forty years your clothes didn't wear out, and your feet didn't blister or swell.  Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you for your own good. (Deuteronomy 8:2-5)

life lessons are hard. when god teaches us something, he doesn't use the modern pedagogy that is prevalent in our schools. god isn't the kind of teacher that defers consequences and beats around the bush. he doesn't spare the rod. when god teaches us something, he makes it memorable, and usually not in the 'oh that was so lovely' way.

what is god trying to teach you? i know that there is a lesson being administered from god to me currently, but i am not sure what the take home message is just yet. i know that it has something to do with trust, control and patience... and that he's taught me this lesson before.

it's hard to keep our heads clear of negativity during trials and not get bogged down with feeling sorry for ourselves. we need to be looking ahead to the value of what is being taught. i know that if i was wandering around the desert for forty years, i would have a hard time seeing the glass half full. as hard as it might be, when there is an obstacle or challenge in our paths, rather than bemoaning to god 'why me', ask 'what for'.

over time, if we allow it, we are moulded and shaped into the people that we are called to be. the growth process isn't pretty, in fact it's usually downright messy. but one day, you wake up and you're through it. no matter if it's 40 hours, weeks or years. trust. he knows what he's doing.

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first world problems

 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (Colossians 3:15)

i need a little peace in my heart. i just got off the phone with my mobile carrier and i am cranked right up. sometimes it seems to me that the marketing scheme of these companies is to confuse you and make you feel powerless. after 3 bouts of poor service on the phone, which includes getting hung up on, i was put needlessly on hold until i gave up. i will take my business else where.

how on earth does this apply to the above verse? i need to let christ's peace rule in my heart, treating others with love and compassion, regardless of the treatment that i receive. i don't think this means i should be walked on, but i also need to stay calm and carry on when there is a frustration in my path. instead of calling back (yet again) to give the manager (if he does exist) a piece of my mind, i will simply not allow this company access to any more of my money. i said what i intended to say, and if they choose not to listen to their customers, that's not my concern. my concern lies with how i react in situations and if i am showing others the love that christ has shown me.

admittedly, i may have raised my voice with the lady on the phone (hey, she started it) but this isn't what i am called to do. as i write this and contemplate what it means to let the peace of christ be with me, i can feel my blood pressure drop.

that last part of the verse gets me. and always be thankful. always. even with poor customer service. i need to take a lesson from this meme. i laughed when i saw it, but it's true, the things we see as problems are often things that others would celebrate. i want to celebrate and be thankful rather than be upset about these things. i am thankful that i live in canada, with access to non-essentials like a cell phone. i am thankful that i live in a beautiful home, and that we were able to afford to purchase a new one. i am thankful that i have a great job that gives me time to be at home with my family and guarantees that i will have work when i need it. i am thankful.

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casting my cares

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? (Matthew 6:27)

there's been lots of worry happening in this old head of mine lately. the wheels keep spinning and spinning and before you know it i'm down in the depths of my negative vortex. what if it doesn't work out. what if we can't afford to live. what if something bad happens.

when my anxiety reaches a fever pitch, i usually try and do something constructive, which has been gardening thanks to the lovely weather lately. the last time i was digging in the dirt, taking some agression out on some poor, unsuspecting weeds, a song from my childhood popped into my head...
i cast all my cares upon you, i lay all of my burdens down at your feet....

it is difficult to let the lord shoulder your burdens, but does want us to trust him and hand them over. it feels like i can gain some control over the events of life when i worry, but that's simply not the case. i've haven't been good at letting go of control, but when i get there and finally lay those cares at his feet, he has never failed to reward my trust in him. giving it to god can only lessen my stress, increase my peace and make the next few months happy ones, rather than anxiety-filled.

are you a worrier? what things do you have a hard time letting god shoulder?

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