planned out

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

at this point in the easter season, it's a waiting game. waiting to see what's next in the grand scheme. like i said yesterday, if i were there, back in the day, i would be having some serious doubts. i would be feeling like all the plans that christ had made would never come to fruition. i would like to think that i would stay the course but i know myself and i would be having a serious faith crisis.

i think that lots of times when we are in the middle of god's plan, it feels like our plans are falling apart. 

when i was just entering into my twenties, i fell in love. love-song love. we began to make plans. i put all my hopes and dreams into those plans and it made my heart light and happy to think of our future. but those plans never materialized, and when it all fell to pieces, so did big parts of me. it was incredibly difficult to face the realization that these plans that i had made weren't the ones that god had in store. i was heartbroken and found it difficult to focus on the truth that god had something else waiting. something lovelier than i was planning. time marches on and here i sit on the other side of that part of the plan and i am thankful that his plans gave me a future and a hope. i'm thankful that he helped me pick myself up, dust myself off and focus on his plan for me.

i'm in the middle of a plan-shift right now, at the fork in the road where my plan and god's plan veer away from one another. it's painful and frustrating, but i need to re-adjust my focus, and remind myself that what awaits is better than what i could think up on my own.

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